Monday, May 22, 2006


Jokes from the USA tv talk shows

Some of these jokes might show up too dificult to understand for people with little knowledge of English and little knowledge of USA politics. On the other hand they are excellent in showing how beautiful English can be, and what high irony it can express, sometimes using words with double meaning, these are difficult to translate as the Czech language does not have the same double-meaning words. Such jokes can only be explained but not translated. Anyway, they are excellent and show how low Americans estimate the quality of their president Bush., Who really is an extremely weak personality, a sort of good for nothing man.

Recent Quips From Late Night

"Last night was the season finale of 'West Wing.' 'West Wing' is gone. And ABC has cancelled 'Commander In Chief.' So, now the only fictional president is Bush." --David Letterman

"In his speech, he outlined a plan to start patrolling the U.S.-Mexican border using members of the National Guard. He said this will give us the most secure border in the world one weekend a month and two full weeks in the summer. ... This will replace our old method of border control: the honor system." --Jay Leno

"It's about as low as you can go without getting caught in a Port-O-John with George Michael" --Jimmy Kimmel, on Bush's low approval rating

"I got a call last night during dinner from Verizon asking me if I was happy with my long distance surveillance." --Bill Maher

"I signed up for a new calling plan today. The 'NSA Friends and Family' plan. A $100 a month, they listen to all my friends and all my family." --Jay Leno

"A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time." --Jay Leno

"In the wake of news that the NSA is monitoring American phone records, Sen. Arlen Specter, the judiciary committee chairman, said he would subpoena the phone companies to appear before his committee. to The phone companies said they would try to be there some time between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m." --Tina Fey

"The House of Representatives passed the $70 billion tax cut capital gains and it's all part of President Bush's 'No Millionaire Left Behind' program." --David Letterman

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